Finally, my own little presence on the web. =)

Jasmine

and there’s nothing you can do about it. (although she doesn’t like being picked up, as you can tell by her facial expression)

So imagine my surprise when I went to check the shipping status of a product that I purchased online, only to see that it shipped to my old apartment. The item was already signed for and everything. The item was signed for and I have nothing to show for it.

I quickly went and checked all of the order details and my “bill-to” address was correct. It was that pesky “ship-to” address that caused the problems. Normally when you purchase something online, you fill out the “bill-to” address, and the “ship-to” address can be left blank, unless of course it’s different.  Well my trusty lil’ Macbook decided it wanted to do me a favor and fill in that “ship-to” address for me. Unfortunately, Mr. Macbook didn’t get the “we’ve moved” memo.  I don’t know how i didn’t see it before I finished up the order.

So after this realization, I freaked out and sent a “I know it’s not your fault, but do you have any ideas?” email to the shipper. About three seconds after I hit send, it occurred to me that shipments usually went to the front office at that old apartment. And they don’t release the shipments to the tenants without ID.

I called the office today during my lunch break and the woman answering the phone informed me that, yes it was there, and that I could pick it up. So sometime tomorrow between 10 a.m. and 5 p.m., I need to go back to the place I had been happily forgetting for the past two months. I suppose things could be worse.

Charles Bukowski

“they feel no terror
at loving
or at not
being loved”

It’s amazing how this man managed to sum up all of my inner most feelings towards humanity in a mere 11 words. I was at the bookstore in Jupiter when I read this particular poem and I remember looking up and around me wanting to just run up to anyone and exclaim “someone figured it out!” But I didn’t think they would understand.

Click below for the rest of the poem

 

DREAMLESSLY
By: Charles Bukowski

old grey-haired waitresses
in cafes at night
have given it up,
and as i walk down sidewalks of
light and look into windows
of nursing homes
I can see that it is no longer
with them.
I see people sitting on park benches
and i can see by the way they
sit and look 
that it is gone.

I see people driving cars
and I see by the way
they drive their cars
that they neither love nor are 
loved -
nor do they consider
sex. it is all forgotten 
like an old movie.

I see people in department stores and
supermarkets
walking down aisles
buying things
and i can see by the way their clothing 
fits them and by the way they walk
and by their faces and their eyes
that they care for nothing 
and that nothing cares
for them.

I see a hundred people a day 
who have given up 
entirely.

if I go to the racetrack 
or a sporting event
I can see thousands 
that feel for nothing or
no one
and get no feeling 
back.

everywhere I see those who
crave nothing but
food, shelter, and 
clothing; they concentrate
on that,
dreamlessly

I do not understand why these people do not
vanish
I do not understand why these people do not 
expire
why the clouds
do not murder them
or why the dogs 
do not murder them
or why the flowers and the children 
do not murder them, 
I do not understand.

I suppose they are murdered
yet i can’t adjust to the 
fact of them
because they are so many.

each day, 
each night, 
there are more of them
in the subways and
in the buildings and
in the parks

they feel no terror 
at not loving
or at not
being loved

so many many many
of my fellow

creatures
 

By the end of the book, every “my life was just one big money shot” or “600 dudes fluffing themselves” reference was old and tired. Given the subject matter, I expected some of those references, but after you figure out what the book is all about, the parts that are supposed to shock you are just lame.

I would go into more detail, but I don’t want to spoil the book for anyone who still wants to read it.  It is relatively short and was a quick read at least.  The other two of Palahniuk’s books that I have read (Fight Club and Choke) were great, and I would recommend them to anyone.  This one- not so much.